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Greene County, Indiana ~ Friday, September 5, 2008
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The Vengeance in Venice
Posted Wednesday, March 26, 2008, at 4:01 PM<< Previous | Read comments | Respond | Email link | Next >>
This new article has to do with the relationship between two brothers. I was told to let Chris know that golf is only incidental to the true storyline and this is basically a human interest story, not a sports story. My name is Rio Hermoso Del Boca Nueva de la Naranja and I am an old friend of this family. By the way, my friends just call me Rio. Ol Simmons, for obvious reasons, has asked me to convey to you this heartwarming story.
These two brothers, Steve and Keith, were delivered into this world by Dr. Edwin Bailey at Wendy's (formerly known as the Freeman-Greene County Hospital). Although these births occurred many moons ago, their individual arrivals were almost 14 months apart, so don't mistake them for twins. Steve came into this world first and poor little Keith struggled along later, which, as we shall see, became a repetitive pattern throughout their lives. Although they were family and also close amigos, these brothers grew up with a very competitive fire in their hearts. Steve graduated from High School first, went on to college ahead of his little brother and later pursued a career in the Army. Keith managed to finally graduate and ventured out on his own to a rather stoic semi-collegiate experience, as well. Keith also tried his hand at an Army career, but quit and decided to follow a different path in life. (Actually, the little misguided chap followed several paths, but that is entirely irrelevant to the point of this story.)
Sometime during their respective educational and cultural evolutions, Steve took up the game of golf and became somewhat proficient for a person lacking true athletic coordination. While, just like in all other aspects of their lives, Keith failed to even attempt to play the game until a much later date. In the ensuing years, when young master Keith finally became addicted to the game, it was obvious that his skill levels were substantially subordinate to those of his more experienced elder brother. Although the exact date and time can only be theoretically imagined, it was probably at this point in his life when he began to realize, "Unless I improve my golfing skills to a competitive level with my senior sibling, I shall remain a sick sounding second fiddle forever squeaking in my brother's symphony of success." (Whoa, if you didn't get a kick out of that sentence, there's something seriously wrong with your compositional sense of humor.)
As a result of this epiphany, Keith began a concerted effort to improve his game by playing constantly, never taking a lesson, but just playing and playing and playing. Although this might have given the appearance that Keith was self taught, in reality he was learning by observing professional golfers on television. By assimilating the swing patterns of his favorite golfer, he continued along a slow arduous path of self-improvement. Had he selected Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson, or some other great golfer back then, Keith might have shortened his path to semi-proficiency. However, Keith chose Kirk Triplett as his favorite golfer and his progress moved along at a snail's pace for numerous years. It may have been a decade later when I heard him say, "There was just something about Ol Kirk that I liked, maybe it was that bucket hat."
Finally, after years of hard work, Keith's swing blossomed in the sunshine of an early Greene County spring. This former "Diamond in the Rough" of the bowling lanes had finally achieved a modest amount of success on the links. There were occasions, though quite scant, where Ol Simmons (as Keith was now known) would indeed win a skin or two. Now he was ready at last to offer a competitive effort against his big brother and he was chomping at the bit to bring it on.
That opportunity presented itself just a couple of years ago, and as I remember it now, it was an event like none other that we have ever seen. It rivaled the Masters and the U.S. Open with its' level of pure intensity alone. It took place over several golf courses in the State of Florida and the close head to head competition was unlike anything this world has seen since the days prior to Tiger. The elder statesman tried valiantly to hold off his young upstart brother, but with talents that had been fading fast, caused no doubt by several years of horrible golf abuse inflicted by his youngest son, it was to no avail. Brother Steve succumbed to the pressure and the sweet "Kirk Triplett" like swing of his now much more talented younger brother.
The event itself was a marathon 11 rounds of golf, which a simmering Ol Simmons won by a colossal margin of one stroke. Countless fans of the game were saddened to see the old-timer finally fail and fall on his face in disgrace, but the ascension of young Ol Simmons brought a sudden sense of relief to those who knew him well. It was as if Ol Simmons was new again and magically the world was a better place.
Just like after every great sporting event, the golfing world has passionately yearned for a rematch. The media has cried out repeatedly over the past couple of years for just one more chance to see the old feller try to make a comeback. Now the time has come, in just a little over a week, he will be granted an opportunity to claim a small amount of revenge and to repair his soiled reputation on the links. The odds are stacked against the aging Middle School Golf Coach from Westfield, but everyone knows that he will grind it out with every shot and lay it all on the line one more time. Please stay tuned to this website, as this unbiased reporter and friend of the family shall provide periodic updates on this much awaited kindred rivalry, now described in the media as, "The Vengeance in Venice". Comments Showing comments in chronological order [Show most recent comments first] |
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The early Vegas line has Steve a prohibitive favorite. The Vengeance in Venice will be renamed Keith's Futile Flop in Florida.
Wait a minute. Futile Flop could mean a failure to flop. It also could mean a poorly executed wedge shot. Let me rename it Keith's Famous Florida Flop. Not to be confused with Keith's Famous Florida Fosbury Flop, Flop.
Thanks Wigs, it is great to hear you are out of bed and still maintaining the ability and capacity for typing again. That must be quite a flop for you to get out of bed so early. (7:39pm?)
Just concluded the first 9 holes of the Westfield Middle School golf try-outs at plush Pebble Brook Golf Course. Scores for the 20 "golfers" ranged from a very good 39 to a nightmarish 99. One 7th grader shot a very nice 40 whole the others in his foursome limped in with a 63, 82 and the aforementioned 99. Needless to say I picked up quite a few helpful tips while watching this highly competitive golf. Not quite on the Kirk Triplett level, but instructive in it's own right. I did manage to hit a small bag of balls on the range prior to the start of try-outs and the results were a mix of bad news and good news. The good news is the swing appears to be about where it was last year. The bad news is the swing appears to be about where it was last year. I'm sure when news of this gets out, the Vegas line will move in favor of the much younger, youthful sibling.
Do not trust him Simmons,he is setting you up.Don't fall for it,he has been waiting for this opportunity for some time now and it is finally going to hatch.I called Ben up at Crooked Stick and he told me there was a Steve S. taking lessons three evenings every week and he has been working with him on his swing for weeks indoors also.I believe they call it hustled, dragged through the mud. Ya gotta admit that is a contented looking couple of kids.
I have just wasted 5 min of my life
B ball fan: Crooked Stick? I'm just a poor school teacher trying to scrape by up here amongst all the rich folk.
unionalum: Might I recommend an Evelyn Wood speed reading class? I'm sure you could cut down your wasted reading time by a considerable amount.
Unionalum: Your username said it all.
Mister Robato,it is difficult to sit here and not not fall out of the chair laughing,it is just automatic to the senses.Sitting here listening to how a couple of politicians try to strike a good clean,fair, and amusing low blow. You pulled it off with six little words.
Chris&Jeremy'sDad, after that first round 88/87 squeaker you put on Ol Simmons, you will feel as rich as Tiger Woods.
C&J'sDad,I had a nano second there where I felt bad for Unionalum,thinking about him setting aside Mellville,or Gibbons,to click on the Daily World.
I apologize for misspelling Melville.
You can't please everyone, but I honestly thought Rio wrote a decent article.
I think that was a wonderful story, way to go RIO. Maybe some folks just don't like human intrest stories. I can't wait to hear the outcome of the soon to happen golf match. Do you call it a match? or is that just tennis? Keep the stories coming! g
Was going to ask B ball fan, how come we are not reading comments from brother Terry?
I hope you both win!
I hope your older brother kicks you a@#!
unionalum, dont worry, that will still leave you 524,155 minutes this year, to talk with "all of your friends". What makes me think that will be plenty of time. Looking at your post, brings to mind some old words of wisdom, "having a war of words with you, would be like fighting with an unarmed man".
There he is!
Va4lovers: That was a very nice thing to say. I'd love to win and have bragging rights for awhile, but I'd be happy with nice weather and for both of us to play decently.
Made the final cuts for the WMS golf team tonight. Don't like having to tell the 3 kids they didn't make it. They are all a great bunch, would be easier if they were 3 jerks I didn't like.
You are tougher than me. I would rather have ran into a poisonous snake than tell three seventh graders they did not make the team, and I have two snake sightings still left in me.
I have been trying to make up the biggest lie I can about not hearing from my brother Terry, and here it is, he is speechless.
Rio, tell young Simmons that if he can't get it done on the course then go get a basketball and do him like dirt from the right wing. After putting about four down from eighteen feet this will of course bring the elder Simmons out. At that point young Simmons can drive the lane. Too bad it's just one on one. Young Simmons could pass it, too.
At just a glance of the 10 day outlook, it appears that we will have to put up with highs in the 80s and lows in the high 60's. Although we have fun with the bragging rights, there's nothing better than the day to day competition with Steve on a warm Florida golf course, no matter who wins.
We will have to limit this to golf, Mike. Although the basketball with you guys in Alaska, nearly 30 years ago, was a lot of fun, Ol Simmons won't be driving any more lanes. That would look too much like a charging hippo in a downtown mall nowadays.
I still haven't swung a club yet this spring, so I'd have to say that the Vegas odds are with Steve for the early rounds. I'll just try not to post any huge numbers and stay close enough to challenge him at the end. Maybe the thought of forever destroying the psyche of 3 middle school kids will bother him enough to keep me within reach. And I may have to query him about how that feels occasionally. You see, these tangential mind games are actually quite legal in our matches.
Things just got low down and dirty, and very interesting.
I'll go even money on the older guy.
Just imagine the mind games he might employ, given the colorful history of our beloved, though less-how shall I say it?- "seasoned" ol' simmons..
M Boyd: You are 100% on target with your assessment, but about 20 (?) years too late. Ol' Simmons was a joy to watch on the court in his younger years and I honestly was one of his biggest fans. I always felt like I had made a significant contribution to his success through hours, make that years, of one-on-one on our gravel court in Lewis. Our golf matches could possibly be interesting for somebody (Mom?), but one-on-one basketball between the 2 of us would be just absolutely pathetic at this stage. The winner of that would have to be whoever had the 2nd heart attack. With that morbid thought in mind, I'm starting to like my chances more at b-ball than golf.
I changed the picture for this article to show that I have been receiving putting lessons from my grandson for the past two days, so there is hope.
just got back from the beach next to the venice golf course...the weather is great...hurry up and get down here!
oh, i forgot to tell you, mom's got persimmons...now, hurry up and get down here!
I'm going with Simmons in this contest. He might not be superior in skills, but he will talk his way to the Championship.
Reminds me of the story of Nicklaus telling Trevino at the start of a round that he didn't feel like talking. Lee said that was ok, he'd do all the talking, all Jack had to do was listen. I always travel with ear plugs for flights (too many trips with a screaming baby nearby). Sounds like they might also come in handy during the round.