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Greene County, Indiana ~ Saturday, July 19, 2008
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I Coulda Been A Contenda
Posted Thursday, February 28, 2008, at 8:42 PM
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Aye Mateys, Tis time to set sail for tomorrow.

It is always good to have someone who will let you know when your blog is dead and let you down easy. The Groucho Marx quote was good, old, but good. If Groucho read this he'd be saying, "A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five."

There are times in everyone's life when you just reflect on where you've been, what you've done, what you're doing and for some, what you plan to do. As for me, after I struggle through the where I've been and what I've done, I'm usually pretty well wasted. I've never thought a lot of myself in terms of accomplishments in my life and when I do, I have always been lucky enough to have friends, family, and in some cases, people I don't even know, close by, just to transport me back to somewhere in the vicinity of reality.

Just recently, I made my way back across the river to The Big Store That Has Almost Everything and picked up some necessities. As I was checking out and paying a King's Ransom for a few odds and ends, a rather petite elderly lady approached me and asked if I was the young man who was writing those "blurbs" on the computer. "Young man" she said, why yes, it must be me. I thought maybe that I fit the bill and told her yes, that it was in fact, me. She was extremely polite and said quite gingerly, "I really don't care for it, but I thought that I recognized you." Just for a second there, I thought to myself that she was going to compliment me on my writing. That's what I get for thinking. She really should be working for the FBI because I have a full beard now and I'm not sure that even my Mom would recognize me. I would really like to write something that this old gal would like, should we, just by happenstance, see each other again in this world. She has motivated me to do better and I will constantly think of her as I agonize over each trivial little article that I write. Now I can't get Groucho out of my mind. "I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home."

A few years ago, I was speaking with an old friend of the family and he told me that as far as he was concerned, I was quite a disappointment. I guess he wasn't informed that whatever Presidential aspirations I may have had, they pretty well vanished years ago, somewhere back in the 7th to 8th grade timeframe. This bothered me for quite some time afterwards, at least 2-3 minutes and then I got over it. It is good to have friends like that around to deflate your ego in times of need. There are times that I wonder to myself, what it was that he had expected of me. It must be a strange life, just sitting around conjuring up expectations of others. It kind of reminds me of that old High School deal when they vote for someone to be "Most Likely To Succeed". I could never picture anyone beyond what they were at the time. Regardless, I failed to meet someone's expectations and I must say, without reservation, they shouldn't have expected so much of me. Had I known years ago that someone was holding some exceptionally high expectations of me; I would have sat them down and described the odds against such an occurrence. Remember, don't ever bet on a long shot to win, bet him across the board and be happy even if he shows.

Today I held a Branch meeting at work to present an award to one of our young, enthusiastic, brilliant, outstanding achievers (sounds like my opposite self) and informed everyone assembled that this would, most likely, be my last meeting with them as their Manager. There was a smattering of applause and I thought that I noticed some high-fives in the back of the room. I'm fairly sure that they were only joking; fairly sure, anyway. I think that I have a healthy relationship with my fellow employees and prefer to think that they were applauding my managerial efforts. I have to think that kind of thought, because I don't even have a superficial understanding at all, about what goes through these peoples' minds. Great group of folks though; a little Zombie-like on Mondays, maybe, and a bit too over zealous on Fridays, but for the most part, they are decent and respectable folks.

I tried an interesting deal on the Pirates of the Caribbean website. You could upload your own picture and they would transform it into Jack Sparrow. I tried to upload mine, but it was rejected. I tried and tried and it was rejected every time. I'm cursed Mateys; now I'll never be able to disguise myself from that little old lady.

Regardless of what everyone thinks of me, it has been a thoroughly worthwhile ride to this point and my Mom still loves me. Don't you, Mom? Plus, my kids still come and see me occasionally.

Don't set your goals too high, be positive and enjoy life. Like they say down under, "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today, because it is already tomorrow in Australia."


Comments
Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

Don't let them get to you, those that feel like you're a disappointment. I've probably known you longer than most and I can honestly say I've never been disappointed in your accomplishments. I never had any illusions that you would ever amount to anything, therefore I've never been disappointed. (That's a joke)

Former Shakamak Laker basketball career scoring leader, West Point Grad, U. S. Army Captain, oilfield engineering tycoon, and now a highly respected member of the Department of Defense, successful blogger of a major metropolitan newspaper and a grandpa. A veritable Hemingway of our times. Write on!

-- Posted by Chris&Jeremy'sDad on Thu, Feb 28, 2008, at 9:58 PM

agreeing with C_+J_'s dad

I myself aint givvin' up on my hopes of beein' Presidnt ;) ;)

-- Posted by silerCityDude on Thu, Feb 28, 2008, at 10:12 PM

"Remember, don't ever bet on a long shot to win, bet him across the board and be happy even if he shows."

I'm heavily considering getting this translated into Mandarin Chinese, and tattoo'd on my chest.

-- Posted by GarthHudson on Thu, Feb 28, 2008, at 11:19 PM

Beautiful post ol simmons, know that I think the world of you, and I love you, but I wish you could putt a little better. Coming from a guy who couldnt hit a donkey on the ass with a bass fiddle.

Also, Ive seen Garths chest, he could have that translated into three Chinese dialects, and they would all fit on his furry turf. But I have to agree that is a quote to live by. Priceless.

Hang in their Captain, golf season is right around these last grey clouds, thank goodness.

-- Posted by midnightrambler on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 2:14 AM

Are you guys poking fun at me? I always liked that term...poking fun at...I need to use that more often. Great comments to wake up to on a Friday morning. It's time for me to be a bit over zealous today. I can't wait to get to the Pepperoni Grill tonight.

I hated to hear about Wm. F Buckley passing away, I always enjoyed listening to the way he could throw huge, five dollars words in a sentence that made little on no sense to me (or no cents to anyone for that matter). And then I cracked up when I read that our President said that Mr. Buckley had been an inspiration to him. SCDude if you want to run for Prez, you got my vote and I guarantee, I'll have no illusions that you'll amount to anything. Just remember the words of the late great Ronald Reagan, "I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a Cabinet Meeting."

-- Posted by simmons on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 4:24 AM

Mr.Simmons, sometimes disappointments lead to many fond memories.

-- Posted by Mr. Robato on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 8:56 AM

The image wasn't rejected by the Pirates of the Caribbean website. There were no changes needed. You are not an underachiever, you are a perfect pirate!!!

-- Posted by Wiglund on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 11:55 AM

Aw Kieth, your blog is a lot of fun to read, but your visits are even better!

I had to laugh as I read about at that petite elderly lady-gotta love that post-menopausal straigh talk! My father often repeats with a laugh the story about how my dear Aunt Bonnie responded to her daughter,Janie, at the family reunion once when Janie told her mother "My baked beans look much better than your bake beans!" Without missing a beat Aunt Bonnie replied "Well eat 'em then!" Ha! Classic!

The elderly. Our national treasure.

I've been doing a little introspection lately, and one of the thoughts that disturbs me is the ever diminishing resource of our elderly. The thought that in a few more years all the old-timers will be gone-well,it scares me. I know, I know, we'll still have google around to ask those questions to...yet there's something about the vasts amount of knowledge, experience, courage, examples of self-sacrifice, that the elderly possess that once it's gone, well ,gee..I'll feel kind of lost. My dad, for example, was born in year 1913. He still lives up in the old farm house where I was born (he delivered me, as well as cut and tied my umbilical cord-gave me an inny!). This guy's seen so much in his life....damn! It'll be a lonely day when he goes.

And what the hell do I have to offer the young but tax dollars? The wisdom of Maybe, maybe not?? Bah! I guess, if/when comes the time, I can think back to my Dad and what story he might use ,then do my best to tell it like it is/or was, on our side of the mountain. Or,suggest a google search.

Kieth,see ya tonight!

Oh btw,one of your sucessful legacys was in last night-love that Matty!-he speaks so highly of you.

-- Posted by hopeanddust on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 1:14 PM

*successful

-- Posted by hopeanddust on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 1:29 PM

My successful legacies are four fold, they are all different and I'm proud of all of them. They are my four best friends and my relationships with each are all unique.

Matthew is a class act and I only wish I had half of his intelligence and all of his sense of humor.

Remember what they say, "Always be nice to your children, for they will be the ones choosing your nursing home."

-- Posted by simmons on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 2:54 PM

Looking forward to tonight Mark. Nothing better in this entire area than an evening at The (World Famous) Pepperoni Grill.

-- Posted by simmons on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 2:57 PM

Emerson on Friday morning is exactly what I needed to start a weekend.Many kind thanks, and I am so glad I had fifty cents to give to that little old lady to harass you at the Big Store.She was supposed to tell you to eat more vegetables, but the short term memory seems to be the first part of memory to malfunction.We don't remember the past that well but who would know, we tell it as we want it to be remembered,regardless of what actually happened.Mark Twain said,"when I was young I could remember absolutely everything, whether it happened or not."

Let me thank you for mentioning Buckley.When I remember W.F.Buckley Jr.it is always with respect, and enjoyment and the word candor suddenly has a reason for being.He, and Emerson both had the observational skills of a sculptor.I am awake now and realize it is Mellencamp's "Little Pink Houses" not loud,I am hearing.One must sit and wonder what the little old lady does not care for.Good read and just gets better.

-- Posted by B ball fan on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 3:59 PM

Was that Ralph Waldo or Lake and Palmer?

Early on, Emerson was friends with Thoreau and Hawthorne. Can you imagine those conversations?

-- Posted by simmons on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 4:11 PM

A friend of mine at work reminded me of a great comment of Buckley's from back in the 60's when he was running for Mayor of NYC. Someone asked what he would do if he won the election and he said, "Demand a recount."

I never knew until I read yesterday that as a young Lieutenant in the Army, he was a member of the honor guard at FDR's funeral and a few years later he served a short time as a covert operative for the CIA, under the direct supervision of E. Howard Hunt.

-- Posted by simmons on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 4:40 PM

Well said.. well said. I think it's a good idea to stop and take account of your life every now and then.I, too, have enjoyed the ride thus far.

-- Posted by Mr. F on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 7:24 PM

Hope&dust: as I know you are a stickler for spelling and would want to get it right: Keith.

Interesting tidbits on a youngish WFB, Jr.

Anyone else real happy it's Friday evening?

-- Posted by Chris&Jeremy'sDad on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 7:37 PM

well no cause its another day gone--- but yes becaue there are more comments on this blog to read!

-- Posted by silerCityDude on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 9:29 PM

::Chuckle::

Thanks again,Chris&Jeremy'sDad!

Yes, not only did I misspell Keith, I also managed to screw up a few other words. At least I was able to get my post across the great divide of cyberspace this time. Last week I typed out a little story about what a marvelous sight Bill Guthrie was on the ballfield at Leach Elementary back in 1968-only to have it lost by the misplacement of a single finger on the keyboard.

And I promise you,there'll be more screw-ups to come!

------

It was a pleasure to chat with you and Debra last night, Keith. Folks like yourselves help to make my work a real joy. Yup,it was another fine leap day!

-- Posted by hopeanddust on Sat, Mar 1, 2008, at 7:41 AM

Another wonderful evening at The Pepperoni Grill. It is easy to become addicted to your manicotti, not to mention the Bourbon Barrel Stout. I'm sure that my lack of any culinary skills will drive me back pretty soon. Great service too, please tell Megan we sure appreciated her hospitality.

-- Posted by simmons on Sat, Mar 1, 2008, at 8:05 AM

It was Ralph,that was my Grandfathers name,it always had the sound of authority. My imagination sometimes drifts to conversations between Thoreau and Emerson.Walking down a dirt road discussing what was wrong and right with society and man.And Thoreau,bitching about Emerson bailing him out of jail, while he walked free to bitch.Simmons you alone that I personally know could write that play,one act with two main characters and Hawthorne could deliver a conclusion,striding back and forth smoking a pipe,tearing them apart with long pauses between phrases,verbal comas.It will sell Simmons,just write it down,and list who you want to play the parts.It would be nice to use those who comment on these musings. I will nominate Wigs,or Rambler for Henry David because of their common sense approach to life,and either would look good walking, using a putter as a cane, and C and J's Dad as Emerson because he has a point of view,and for his loyalty,an admirable trait, and well founded as I have read. What do you think, Matt as Hawthorne for the benediction, who could not listen to Matt?And he could leave you with something to think about,and think about and think about again.John M's lament,"Oh but ain't that America for you and me/

Ain't that America somethin' to see baby/

Ain't that America home of the free/

Little pink houses for you and me." low as Hawthorne leaves the stage.Joe could draw the poster. It is your fault Simmons, you are the one who asked if one could imagine.

-- Posted by B ball fan on Sat, Mar 1, 2008, at 8:28 AM

B ball fan, I appreciate the mention, but I respectfully decline the part. I'm still scarred from forgetting my one line in a VBS program when I was about 6. I think that's why I teach math, once you get past your multiplication facts, you don't have to memorize anything. But I will buy a ticket and applaud from the front row.

Also, it sounds like I need to get Ol' Simmons to take me to The Pepperoni Grill the next time I'm down around G.C.

-- Posted by Chris&Jeremy'sDad on Sat, Mar 1, 2008, at 9:42 AM

I sure appreciate the plugs fellas-

Come on down,C&J'sDad,it'd be a pleasure to meet you.

After dinner here it's a lot of fun to walk a few steps west down the sidewalk to the fine establishment known as Aggies. There you can rub elbos with the locals and enjoy a cold drink.

-- Posted by hopeanddust on Sat, Mar 1, 2008, at 10:58 AM

well, that's just great...if you were a dissappointment, what does that make me... for looking up to you all these years??? hey, i've never been to this "pepperoni place", can i get an invite when c&j's dad is down? or how about "buddy's" in a few weeks, in florida?

-- Posted by outnumbered on Sat, Mar 1, 2008, at 10:34 PM

outnumbered: What are you going to do with all those capital letters you've saved up over the years? Does your keyboard even have a shift key? Oh, and before hope&dust beats me to it, disappointment only has one 's'. How long you going to be in Florida?

-- Posted by Chris&Jeremy'sDad on Sat, Mar 1, 2008, at 10:52 PM

c&j's dad: i stand corrected, actually i'm sitting, but i am typing in the dark, while cr is sleeping, so... and i do have a shift key, but i'm saving it. i may need it for something real important someday, wouldn't want it to be worn out, then what would i do? i get 17 days in florida this trip, i'll see you guys for the last 2. you up for a couple of game nights?

-- Posted by outnumbered on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 1:47 AM

C and J's Dad,something makes me think you might fit the part, maybe type cast and sometimes that is not the best, when selecting actors,but aren't we all actors.When you were six it sounds like being singled out to be seen,and heard sounded a bit uncomfortable for you,I hear you.I don't remember speaking to anyone at that age,perhaps "I'm sorry, or "thak You" I could not talk to people,I was afraid of people. At that age exactly, most of my class mates became afraid of math.I started playing black-jack with my parents and their friends at about that age and learned to count well revolving around the number 21,adding or subtracting.If you had 16 you needed a 5 or less,I did not have to think about it in the least.So,people scared me but numbers became my friends, two plus two was four, every time.People changed from time to time, but two plus two was always four,every single time,I could rely upon numbers, when I was six. When I was about 53 sitting in a Roman History class taking a test it looked to me like it was written in Chinese or some language I could not grasp. I told Dr. Dixon I needed more information.I just answered all the questions about all these men the same;they were Italian Gentlemen from Rome sometime around 325 B.C.E. and handed it in and told Dr.Dixon I was leaving early to go to the Science Bldg. where there was something I could count on. No pun.Two plus two was still four,every time.I have always taken comfort in the reliability of numbers.When chaos surrounds me and I am caught red-handed,found out,hooked in every way,it suddenly dawns on me,yes, the sun comes up in the east every time.If a person can convince one other person the lifetime value of becoming friends with numbers, just one,he/she has given a priceless lifetime gift,the only thing greater to do is try to do it again. Now,just how do I explain to my great-nephew how a negative times a negative becomes a positive.He has convinced me that I am relying on faith.

-- Posted by B ball fan on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 2:33 AM

I've never written a play before and if I ever worked up the courage to try, I'd have to start with a comedy. It's like betting the ponies, if you start with a comedy and it doesn't work, then you conveniently, at worst, have a relatively poor tragedy.

Sly Stallone as Thoreau:

Yo, I can't catch any fish.

Dan Akroyd as Emerson:

We honor the fish because they have external freedom, power and grace, which we feel should be proper to man. The poet is the sayer, the namer and represents beauty, while the fisherman destroys the delicacy of life. All of our senses direct us to the conclusion that, if you don't like it, move your silly cabin to another pond.

Outnumbered? - Get yourself a miner's light to type by when CR sleeps. By the way, I've never considered myself a disappoinment, just been told that I've been one. I've had some disappointments, but that usually originates with too much outside in, swaying too much or just a total block out, but I doubt that you'd completely understand the reasoning behind those concepts.

I don't remember inviting anyone to eat. I usually don't do that because I'm a poor planner. I'm pretty much of a spur of the moment type of diner, but if you're going to be in the area, give me a call.

I've always heard that an old mathematician never dies, he just loses some of his functions.

-- Posted by simmons on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 5:40 AM

Simmons invited my family to dinner a couple of Fridays ago, and it was a spur of the moment invitation. I did take a rain check, and my family is looking forward to it.

-- Posted by Mr. Robato on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 8:03 AM

Maybe this example would help, B ball fan: Ghosts don't exist,right? So if,for example,we stepped into a room where there were 3 rows of 7 ghosts, then in that amazing moment we would try to make a quick count of how many ghosts were actually before our eyes by multiplying -3 x -7 and concluding that's 21 freakin' ghosts! Run!!!

Hmmm...nevermind. Maybe your nephew is right.

-- Posted by hopeanddust on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 8:03 AM

Game nights sound ok, but my night ends about 10 or so. Gotta get my rest so I'm ready to chase those birdies the next day.

-- Posted by Chris&Jeremy'sDad on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 8:08 AM

I'm not playing Monopoly, but maybe some Mexican Dominoes. I've never thought it was right that no one but Parker Bros could make Monopoly.

I'm not sure about those ghastly ghost-like multipliers, but if you look at having a debt of $3 (or -$3) and you owed that amount to three separate dead people (or -3 people), then your total debt would be +$9 because dead folks can't collect (we'd be splitting hairs to even mention their heirs) and you'd be $9 ahead.

-- Posted by simmons on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 10:15 AM

You are correct, a good laugh is a better feeling than the smallest of paper cuts.E.E.Cummings had a large savings of uppercase letters,and he managed to say a great deal.I don't mind someone using lowerercase,but it disturbs me that someone tries to reinforce their point by using too many uppercase letters. The keyboard on the laptop is different than the desktop keyboard. Or I am used to using the laptop and now the desktop is difficult to use.It is the Gilda Radner syndrome,"it's always somethin."

-- Posted by B ball fan on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 11:21 AM

If I were to split heirs, I mean hairs, then perhaps even better multipliers would be $7 debts to 3 dead people (-7 x -3), or $3 debts to 7 dead people (-3 x -7), given B ball fan's comfort with 21 as a mathmatical reference point.

Nonetheless, Simmons, whatever "The Bloody Curse of Simmons" may be, wordsmithing & mathmatics certainly are not a part of that curse! Bravo!

-- Posted by hopeanddust on Mon, Mar 3, 2008, at 4:05 PM


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